TVT - Hawaii Edition

If ever there was an appropriate time for Thought Vomit Thursday, a download of our recent trip to Hawaii is it.  I have so many little stories and observations (being the student of human nature that I am) and a TVT is just the perfect place for that.  We had such a good time and believe it or not, I truly found myself in an honest to goodness state of relaxation and at times completely overwhelmed by how beautiful everything was.  

I won't give you a full blow by blow of our trip because you know how these things work.  To tell you about our flight, cab ride, etc. kinda feels like the equivalent to instructions telling you to "Leave a message after the beep".  Ooooohhhhh, you leave the message after the beep huh...thanks for this completely new information.  As you can see the beauty of Hawaii didn't zap the sarcasm completely out of me, but it definitely made me have to work harder to locate it.  

I am typing this about 6 hours shy of the sleep I require to be coherant so please excuse the typos.  I don't have an excuse for my other posts, but I'm going with the sleep story for this one.  Here we go:  

• I think there should be a rule that if you are in the middle seat on an airplane with someone on either side of you (although I assume you knew what I meant by middle seat), you should automatically get the arm rests.  The middle seat is universally knows as the sucky seat and if both the people to your left and your right decide to take both of their arm rests you are left restless...so to speak.  They always have the option of having at least one arm rest whereas you are kind of at their mercy.  You'd like to think the human contract we all should abide be would be enough, but apparently it needs to be in writing somewhere.  Glad we got that cleared up.

• So we choose possibly the busiest most "You're so not the most important person in the room" week to visit Hawaii because we inadvertently booked our trip while APEC (Asia-Pacific Economic Conference) was in town.  That meant that world leaders from all over the well, world, were visiting.  That includes my boyfriend President Obama (not to be confused with my other boyfriend Mark-Paul Gosselaaror or Leon Hall of the Cincinnati Bengals) and Hilary Clinton, both of whom were staying at our hotel.  Some people were super annoyed by the inconvenience of the traffic and restrictions they brought with them, but we choose to just think it was so cool to be so close to them.  I am of the opinion that if you go into something with that I’m going to be inconvenienced and annoyed attitude you pretty much always will be.  We were so close to Hilary at one point that I swear I could have swiped the headband right off her head.  I will say this though.  Something about the secret service eyeing you gives you that whole shoplifter mentality.  You actually start to convince yourself that maybe you did have some sinister plot that they knew about but you just hadn't admitted to yourself yet.  I was literally going overboard overcompensating to show that I WASN"T a nut job which in-turn made me look even crazier.   

• Someone who you normally wouldn't look twice at on the street automatically becomes hot once they enter into a game of beach volleyball.  It's like the equivalent of a mask or a uniform.  I can't explain it, I can only enjoy to phenomenon. :) 

• I've talked about the fact that 11:11 is pretty important to H and I (in a very junior high kind of way).  We've been talking for years about what we'd be doing on that date at exactly 11:11 and were so excited when we realized we'd be on vacation when the big day finally came.  We talked endlessly about where we'd eat at that night, what we'd do at that moment, etc.  As it turns out the big guy made that decision for us.  That's Obama, not God just to be clear.  It turned out that because his motorcade was scheduled to arrive at the hotel at just about that time we had little to no options for where to be when the moment arrived because of the restrictions.  So after all the talking and planning, we ended up watching him drive past us with the restaurant staff at a local diner near our hotel.  It was actually kind of cool because it gave a sense of importance to a moment that up until then we thought that only we could feel.  

• I had one of the five best foods I've ever had in my life on this trip.  It was BBQ Baja Style Corn-on-the-Cob.  It was at a little farm stand we found when driving up the coast and let me tell you, I literally talked about it to no end the rest of the trip.  I mean how often do you have one of the five best things you've ever eaten in your life.  What, like four other times right?  I totally scammed the ingredients and plan to try to make it at home, although I suspect that maybe the experience was partly what led to the great taste.  Time will tell cause I plan to get all over some Baja corn next week.

• I had what had to be the most amazing massage while we were away.  You know when something starts with a foot soak and ends with "just charge it to the room" it's been a good experience.  Although I must say, this massage brought to light something I've known for years but only have to confront about three months of the year.  Shaving ones knees properly and completely requires a skill set that I do not possess.  I literally spent like 15 minutes working on those knobby little bitches and don't you know that while I'm sitting there waiting to be called back I spy three hairs that look they were plucked from Tom Hank's beard in Forest Gump.  It's as though they were raising their fist at me after years of oppression.  You've won the battle hairs, but I shall continue to fight the war.  

• Note to self...hold down your new summery dress in a stiff wind.  Thank you for your cooperation.

• You know that song where everyone yells out, "TEQUILLA".  Well apparently I'm willing to yell that out anywhere I happen to be regardless of my surroundings or who I might be with (which was nobody in case you were wondering).  Thank you Macy's employees of the greater Waikiki area for not politely asking me to leave your lovely establishment.

• H had a good four or so days to relax at the end of the trip, but he had to work about 12 or so hours each of the first 5 days we were there.  That left a whole lot of time for me to just wonder around on my own and relax.  That is something I am actually awesome at if I do say so myself.  I will say this though, lonely in Hawaii is still lonely.  I never wanted to complain (because I'm not an idiot), but something about him working such long hours accompanied by the 5 hour time change was a little unsettling to me and I definitely was glad once he wrapped things up.  I like to know I can get my momma on the phone whenever I want and the restriction of having her be asleep when I had so much to say killed me.  

• Even though H had to work so much in the beginning I still tried to cute myself up every day regardless of who was going to see it.  Eventually though I started to think about that old saying If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to see it, does it make a sound?  In my case it was, If a girl looks cute in Hawaii and there is nobody there to take a picture of it did it even really happen?

• One thing I'll say about those Hawaiians is they do not mess when it comes to jay walking.  They straight up stand on the curb until the little sign says walk even if there isn't a car in sight.  The first couple of days I just kind of went with the flow even though everything in my NY blood was telling me "go, go, go".  Once I felt a little more, "I'm a local, didn't you see me yelling Tequila at Macy's yesterday", I started to get a little more nervy.  That is until one girl informed me, "You might be able to get away with that on the Mainland, but here you'll get a $150 fine".  Ok then, wait with the rest of you rule following folk I will.  Honestly, it's the way it should be everywhere, but it kinda hurt me to do it. 

• As Sarah at Baby Talk had warned me, Spam is serious business over there.  I have 6 solid pounds of weight gain to prove it.

• As you all know, I like to visit any and all emergency rooms at least once when in new (and old come to think of it) surroundings.  There I was getting ready to spray myself with a little Happy Perfume (ironically named as it turns out) and don't you know that bottle slipped right out of my hands.  As it moved towards the bathroom floor tile my mind said JUMP, but my body said, DO NOTHING.  Well my mind won that little fight and I watched as that bottle broke and then a large piece of glass shot right up and took a good chunk out of my leg.  It was one of those happened so fast but still in slow motion kind of moments.  I did the whole, limp around while breathlessly muttering to myself, "You're ok, you're ok" things.  Another note to self...perfume in an open wound hurts like hell so tried to avoid it at all costs.  After washing it out under the bathtub spout for about 20 minutes in between bouts of trying not to pass out (something I do for even the most minor of cuts) I tied that mother up Die Hard style with a washcloth and a tank top (a white one for added effect) and convinced myself it was going to be ok.  Once H got "home" he did his best to convince me otherwise and so off to the doctor I went the next morning.  I got the nicest most I don't want to ruin your vacation doctor who agreed to just glue it shut as best he could rather than stitch it, wrap it up tight, and give me some serious antibiotics to fight off any crazy ocean nastiness that might want to creep up in there.  I was so happy to have gotten it looked at, but mostly happy to have the answer to the age old question of how am I going to injure myself this trip.  

• You know I love me a good spray tan, but I can now safely say that I am the first person to actually get progressively whiter as her vacation went on.  So much so that I found myself a little spray tan place on the island and had her go to town to finish out the second leg of the trip.  I had promised myself that I would escape this little island getaway without a sunburn and I am happy to report that I was successful.    

• It is a well known fact that I am not one for adopting the slang of wherever I happen to be visiting and H totally knows that.  I feel like such an ass and a complete phony and I just can't bring myself to do it.  That's why whenever he got the chance H would say to anyone who would listen (as loudly as possible of course) "Mahalo", "Aloha", or his favorite, "We're heading back to the Mainland on Tuesday".  All the while giving me a sideways grin and kind of shaking his head as he said it.  This little routine never got old to him and he would just crack himself up let me tell ya.  He kinda cracked me up too, but I didn't want to tell him that so as not to encourage this behavior. 

• We had a chance to visit Pearl Harbor and meet four or five of the veterans who were there that horrible day.  They were on hand to tell stories and sign autographs.  It was the most surreal feeling to look into the eyes of these men now in their 90's and honestly still see these boys who had been there that day.  It was so moving and something I'm so glad we got to experience.  I've told you all about my old man love, but this took it to a whole other level.  How fitting to get to do that so close to Veteran's Day.

There is so much more to tell and I'm sure I'll think of a million more things over the next couple of weeks, but this list is a good start I think.  I'll also post some pictures I promise. 

As is the measure of any good vacation, I had completely forgotten my computer password when I returned to work.  I take that as a sign that the relaxation mission was accomplished.