We just learned that the baby was born two days ago and that she has decided to parent under pressure from the fathers family.
We are just kind of sick, angry, and numb right now. Sick about missing this baby I never even really knew, angry about the sitting and waiting that we could have been spared over Christmas even with just an email, and numb to the whole thing. In the end I just wish for this baby boy to have an amazing life, I really do.
I think I'm going to go on a little bit of a hiatus for a week or so to regroup. I just need to bury my head for a bit to feel ok again I think. We have each other and that's the good news.
Thank you all for the support...I really mean that.
I'm a girl in her early 30's (I refuse to change this wording by the way...I don't care how old I get) who dreams of the family that I will someday have and desperately want. I have been blessed with a husband who is beyond what I could have ever dreamt for myself, but I'm still waiting on the final piece to our puzzle...a baby. Welcome to my journey. * WARNING * This opening is way sweeter and less sarcastic than what you can expect to get on this blog...seriously, you've been warned.
65 comments:
Oh no! I am so, so sorry. How completely heart-breaking. I really thought that this one was your baby.
Take all the time you need, we'll be here when you are ready.
Oh my gosh E - my heart just dropped when I read the title of this post. My heart is breaking for you right now. :( We are here for you, whenever you are ready for us. Hug Hung extra tight today and know that we are all thinking of you. ((HUGS))
Oh my gosh. I am so sorry.
Just texted you. I am absolutely devastated for you. I can't believe it :( Like I said, I can be over there in minutes with alcohol. :( Hang tight to each other :(
I'm really sorry that this happened to you. Hang in there. Many people are thinking of you and wishing you peace.
Oh Sweetie, I am so broken hearted for you. Wish I could be there to actually hug you and cry with you. All my love to you darling.
I'm so sorry that this has happened. I can't imagine how hard it must be for you. Take care of yourself.
Oh no! My stomach fell when I read the first line. I am so very sad for you and can't imagine how you guys must feel. Be good to yourself.
My heart is broken for you. I can't imagine how you must feel. My thoughts and prayers are with you!
Oh my gosh!!!! Oh hunny I am so so so sorry. I can't even put into words the sadness I am feeling for you. Sending so many hugs and love to you.
I am so sorry. I hope you do come back after taking some time to take care of yourself.
And I just have to say too..and I know this isn't going to change things..but I'm kind of angry for you! Two days ago the baby was born and they just tell you all this today?! And also I don't think you guys were aware that the Dad's family was putting pressure on, right?? Sorry, I know me being angry wont bring that baby to you, but I just don't get it :(
I have tears streaming down my face right now. This is devestating!! I wish I could take all your pain away. ((HUGS))
**"were not aware" I meant***
What a heartbreak!
Oh my word... I am absolutely broken for you two. What a beautiful heart you have to think first and foremost of them even as you work through such a difficult and unexpected loss. I am so, so sorry for you two. Thinking of you both and sending much love and support your way.
Heart breaking news. You will be a mom someday. I know it.
I am a friend of Sarah's and have recently started following your blog after learning of it from her. I was really rooting for you and excited for you and my heart is definitely breaking for you now. I know there are no words to take away your pain, but I am praying that God gives you & your husband the strength you need to pull through this and that He blesses you with a take home baby very soon....
So so sad for y'all :(
Oh E, I am just so incredibly sorry. I was just so sure this was it for you guys, and the roller coaster high you've been on just seems cruel now. I'm over here crying myself, for you and for all of us who have to endure so much. How can heartbreak and hell be followed by even more heartbreak and hell. I'm giving the universe a big middle finger at the moment. I know you felt such a connection with this woman and want only the best for her and this child, but you have every right to wallow in a little bit of "pissed off" for a while. You guys will get through this, but take time to be nice to yourselves and mourn this very real loss. I'm just so sorry.
I'm so heart sick for you, and in total disbelief. I know there are no words...Love you xo
We have been there. No words can express how deeply sorry I am for you guys. If you can just know your baby is out there and will be in your arms soon. {{HUGS}}
I am so very sorry!!!
Oh no just had a little cry for you. So sad . There isn't much else to say but I am thinking of you and H.
i'm so sorry sweetie. it is crushing just to know how excited you two were about this baby.
stay strong, you will get through this, someday.
xxxx
Hey Hun, I'm a fellow adoptive mom and found you through Sarah's blog. I just wanted to say I am so very sorry. Adoption can be so, so heart breaking. Just remember, it can also be beautiful...and it will be for you, someday very soon. Thinking of you and hoping your heart heals in its own time...
Thinking about you and H tonight. I'm so very sorry that this happened...it's just so unfair. Praying for you guys!
I'm so sorry...
OMG I am just so heartbroken E. I"m so so so sorry. xo
Oh my I am so sorry!
I can't imagine the pain...sorry are the only words I can come up with and they seem so small in a situation like this.
Oh no... I am so, so, so sorry :( Please let me know if there is anything I can do.
I am so so sorry this happened. I am so upset for you and feel horrible for getting so excited and possibly making you excited. I know nothing any of us can say will help. my heart is breaking for you. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
:( My heart hurts for you!
I'm so, so sorry.
I am genuinely, deeply sorry. :( Words fail me. Sending love...
I am not much a commenter over here but a lurking follower for sure and i've been following you for a while. When i think of H looking at the snaps...and you up in the morning nervous with new mom excitement...i feel so very sad for you both. What a deserving couple you are. Ive been thinking a lot about adoption and when this came through for you guys i felt so happy and positive... and now i am right there with you. My sincerest sympathy. When i told my husband the news he said which blog? Funny how he knows you all and can differentiate when you might not even know who i am. Thats how much of an impact you make in my life. Just sayin' i need you to be there and be strong and pave the way for me so you can show me..THIS is why we adopted. We are so happy. I believe you will be there soon. You are in my prayers! Xo
You have been in my thoughts and prayers all day. So sorry to hear your news.
Sh*t. I'm so, so sorry, E. I've been thinking about your, and just read this ... and my heart fell. :(
Sending you and H all of my love right now ...
Here from Josey's blog...
I am so heartbroken for you.
You should indeed take a time-out and take time to calm yourself from this great setback. It does feel like the birthmom wanted you to have the baby but was coerced into saying no. I hope she won't regret the decision later and the baby won't bear the brunt of it.
Many hugs.
So very sorry that you didn't get the chance to bring home your Christmas miracle... Take time to regroup and keep in mind that one day you will bring a miracle home. There is nothing I can say at a time like this, aside from your readers are invested in this story - in your life, and we pray for strength and miracles... God Bless You through all the various emotions forced into you lives... God Bless and never give up. Your passion to be a Mommy is palpable... Hugs to you and yours...
This is horrible news!! I don't think the system should allow birth moms to change their minds. This is just so heartbreaking and I'm very sorry you are going through this.
Oh. I'm so sorry. I'm tearing up for you. I just... I'm so sorry. I was so happy for you, and now... I'm so sorry.
You've just cemented my decision to become a surrogate for my sister. I can't let her possibly face this. I'm so sorry.
I am so so sorry :-( Sending you huge hugs, friend. xo
I am in tears - I am so very, very sorry. Sending hugs and thoughts to you and your dh.
Oh, my Gd. Honey I'm so so sorry. That is not okay. I wish I could climb through the computer and give you a hug!
Don't lose hope. Our dear friends went through the same thing. Two weeks later, the parents called and changed their minds - again - and asked if they would still be willing to take their son. OF COURSE!!!! And they did....and he is now one year old, happy, healthy and the most loved baby ever. God knows and is in the midst of this. Keep him in your prayers. As will we. Gail
My heart is breaking for you! I am so angry and sad for you! This is soooo not fair. I am so sorry! I'm thinking of you and praying for you! <3
I'm so so sorry. Will be thinking of you and your husband.
I'm so sorry. That is a lot of heartache to burden. Please keep your head up. I know there's a special baby out there for you.
Here via Oak. I am so, so sorry for this unique -- and uniquely painful -- loss. Sending my warmest wishes for happy breakthroughs ahead.
Here via Oak as well---so so sorry for you. I wish nothing but the best for the new year for you.
So sorry, sending a virtual hug your way and believing the new year will bring you the baby you very much deserve!
I was directed here from another blog. I know there is no words... My heart goes out to you and your husband.
So so so sorry this did not work out the way we all hoped. Sending hugs.
I'm so so sorry. :( I hope you are able to take the time you need to recover and may 2012 be amazing for you and your husband.
I'm so so sorry. I was just linked here from Mission:Motherhood. This breaks my heart!
I am so sad and so mad for you two! This shit should not happen. Thinking of you and sending virtual hugsxxoo
damn it! that sucks. I am so incredibly sorry. Thinking about you guys.
Hi - I am a new follower and just wanted to say how very sorry I am for this bad news. Wishing you a much better 2012.
I found your blog through Looman Log. My heart is aching from you. You and your husband and family are in my thoughts an prayers. I also pray for the sweet little boy and his mother. God bless!
holy hell, I went on vacation, and just got back to the blog. I'm so sorry. There is honestly nothing that I can say that will make you feel better, but I pray for peace, comfort and healing for you, your husband, and your family. If you ever want to talk/vent/scream, email me and I'll send you my cell number. lovemarriagecarriage @ Gmail. com. We are almost a year apart in our grief, but knowing that our anniversary of the pain is tomorrow is something I'm not sure how I'm going to handle it. much much love friend. xoxo
My heart sank reading this. I am so incredibly sorry, sweetie. I don't even know what else to say. Thinking of you and DH during this time. If you need anything, please don't hesitate to ask.
Big hugs.
Coming over from LFCA to say that I am so, so sorry. Abiding with you during this incredibly difficult time...(((hugs)))
Saw the terrible news on LFCA and couldn't help but send some peace and healing vibes out into the universe for you. May 2012 bring your much-desired baby.
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